Subject | Re: CEREBUS: GUYS comments, anyone? |
From | sicherman@lucent.com (The National Folk Hero of the Net) |
Date | 1997/08/18 |
Message-Id | <5t9r9u$1la@nntpb.cb.lucent.com> |
Newsgroups | rec.arts.comics.misc |
In <EEGKzq.28t@iglou.com>, gustavus.remove.4.mail.reply@iglou.com wrote:
… If you find his opinions repulsive, perhaps he could be persuaded to replace them with some ads for Hostess Twinkies. I'd cheerfully pay to see Dave Sim do a series of Cerebus Twinkies ads.
I'll cheerfully write the ads. Here's the first one:
Isn't it ROMANTIC here tonight on the Slag Pits of Old Beduin, Cerebus
darling? I'll bet I know what you're thinking right now … .
Aye … When Cerebus gets back to Palnu, Cerebus will mince that stupid
albino into mulch!
What's mulch?
You're irresistible! Come here and let me salivate all over your …
Oh! My Sophia senses are TINGLING!
You're probably picking up Lord Julius's Voice of Palnu
radio broadcast with that chain-mail bikini of yours.
Hissssss!
It's an intruder! Don't go away, darling! I'll make short work of him,
and then we can return to our lovemaking!
Not so fast! Cerebus thinks he has met this buffoon somewhere …
You may well tremble before your DOOM! Once a humble laborer in the
ammonia mines of Venus, I was transformed by a cosmic cataclysm into
the MAJESTIC being you see before you … for it is my unimaginably
tragic fate to be … GALACTROACH, EATER OF INHABITED PLANETS!
NOW may I slay him?
He's harmless except when he wakes up hungry. The Earth-Pig has
something in his pack that should get rid of him. … brass knuckles,
bottle opener, albatross statue … ah, here they are! Catch, Bug!
Insolent insects! Do you hope to appease the cosmic hunger of
Galactroach with light, fluffy sponge cakes injected with a rich,
creamy filling of … GLOMPH
snurf sclumph moomph foomph …
What luck that you happened to have those HOSTESS TWINKIES with
you, beloved!
Actually, Cerebus has been carrying them in his pack since Issue 3,
when he found them in the Ruins of Togath. …
I've changed my ways! Now instead of smearing saliva all over my
lover's fur, I smear it all over HOSTESS TWINKIES! Buy some today!