The Ultimate Expensive Watch

The
Leisure Hive

$679,000,000.00

 

FACE
Cockroach farm populated by robot cockroaches in all the colors of the rainbow. Set with 25 pentagon-cut natural chartreuse diamonds with smiley faces drawn on them in violet ink. The hands are delicately carved codfish bones. A tiny window at the bottom shows the current date in the Tonal Calendar.

CASING
Frangipanni-scented white shirt cardboard, inlaid with mother-of-pearl suspender buttons.

MOVEMENT
23-piece platinum-iridium-pewter alloy, assembled in Patagonia by selected lemurs.

WARRANTY
Guaranteed to lose time if you jostle it, swing it back and forth, sit on it, sneeze on it, or expose it to heat, cold, moisture, or light.

MAKER
Georges Tickerman S.A.,
Cafard, Switzerland.