Newsgroups: misc.fitness.weights
Subject: Re: Dan..you really did it now
From: gls@hrcms.att.com (The Pied Typer)
References: <40b3l1$p9i@decaxp.harvard.edu> <40b85i$7dh@azure.acsu.buffalo.edu>
Distribution: world
Organization: F. K. Dingy & Son

In <40b85i$7dh@azure.acsu.buffalo.edu>, chattin@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu wrote:
> In <40b3l1$p9i@decaxp.harvard.edu>, henrik@husc7.harvard.edu writes:
> 
> >Personally, though, I'd rather be at a dinner party with Rush than
> >*any* of his listeners (and that's a scary thought indeed).
>
> But Larry, we're *everywhere*!! ...

That means it's time for a SPECIAL FEATURE!

				*  *  *

And now, F. K. Dingy & Son, makers of "Dingy," the washtub detergent that's
"easy on hands, but murder on clothes," proudly presents:


	FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS IN MISC.FITNESS.RUSH-LIMBAUGH

                                   #

Q. How did Rush get so big anyhow?  Does he use steriods?

A. That's "steroids," not "steriods" ... Anyway, according to Rush's publicity
   agent, Fergus Fooblotzer, Mr. Limbaugh has been "all natural for weeks,"
   relying instead on a strict diet of hogfat with hollandaise sauce, french
   fried orange marshmallow peanuts, and cheese in pressurized cans.  Lately
   his invitations to dinner parties have met with rejection, but he is said
   to have hopes of snaring Linda Chattin.
   
Q. Do you think somebody will ever break the one-minute mark for running
   around Rush Limbaugh?

A. Well, the Bulgarians are rumored to be using a secret training method
   involving a carrot and a stick.  The details are closely guarded, but
   keep buying Sports Illustrated, just in case they leak out.

Q. I've been working on my lung power, but I still have a long way to go.
   How about some training tips from the Master?

A. You're in luck!  I just happen to have a copy of an insert from last
   February's Tiger Beat called "An Intimate Look at Fave Radio Hunks,"
   which says on page 13:  "The Rusher builds up his bombastic breathing
   by chewing a MONSTER wad of Bazooka Joe every morning when he wakes up,
   then sticking his head in a solid gold bucket of beauty mud and blowing
   bubbles for a solid 20 minutes.  Says solidest Limboopsy, `It takes LOTS
   of hard work to be a media star.'"

Q. I get a lot of compliments on my chest, but my bench is disappointing.
   I'd really like to get it up to around 400 lbs.  I figure that if I
   could pick Rush Limbaugh up and hold him while doing you know what,
   it would really impress people!

A. Forget it--he's married now.  In the future, spare us your degraded
   sexual fantasies; they don't belong here in misc.fitness.rush-limbaugh.
   That's what alt.naked.bondage.rush-limbaugh is for.