In <EEGKzq.28t@iglou.com>, gustavus.remove.4.mail.reply@iglou.com wrote:

… If you find his opinions repulsive, perhaps he could be persuaded to replace them with some ads for Hostess Twinkies. I'd cheerfully pay to see Dave Sim do a series of Cerebus Twinkies ads.

I'll cheerfully write the ads. Here's the first one:

Isn't it ROMANTIC here tonight on the Slag Pits of Old Beduin, Cerebus darling? I'll bet I know what you're thinking right now … .

Aye … When Cerebus gets back to Palnu, Cerebus will mince that stupid albino into mulch!

What's mulch?

You're irresistible! Come here and let me salivate all over your … Oh! My Sophia senses are TINGLING!

You're probably picking up Lord Julius's Voice of Palnu radio broadcast with that chain-mail bikini of yours.

Hissssss!

It's an intruder! Don't go away, darling! I'll make short work of him, and then we can return to our lovemaking!

Not so fast! Cerebus thinks he has met this buffoon somewhere …

You may well tremble before your DOOM! Once a humble laborer in the ammonia mines of Venus, I was transformed by a cosmic cataclysm into the MAJESTIC being you see before you … for it is my unimaginably tragic fate to be … GALACTROACH, EATER OF INHABITED PLANETS!

NOW may I slay him?

He's harmless except when he wakes up hungry. The Earth-Pig has something in his pack that should get rid of him. … brass knuckles, bottle opener, albatross statue … ah, here they are! Catch, Bug!

Insolent insects! Do you hope to appease the cosmic hunger of Galactroach with light, fluffy sponge cakes injected with a rich, creamy filling of … GLOMPH snurf sclumph moomph foomph …

What luck that you happened to have those HOSTESS TWINKIES with you, beloved!

Actually, Cerebus has been carrying them in his pack since Issue 3, when he found them in the Ruins of Togath. …

I've changed my ways! Now instead of smearing saliva all over my lover's fur, I smear it all over HOSTESS TWINKIES! Buy some today!